All My Fault
by CrystalShadowStar
Summary: Rhys leaves the Night Court with Feyre to have a meeting with Kallias. Not long after they leave, Velaris is attacked. Azriel makes a decision, and blames himself. He must learn to adjust but it won't be as easy as he thought...
1. Protect the City

All My Fault

 **I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE ACOTAR CHARACTERS. ALL STORY HERE IS FANFICTION. CHARACTERS AND BOOKS OWNED BY SARAH J MAAS.**

Rhys POV

"You know what to do. Protect the city at all costs, keep the Illyrians in line and don't allow the court of nightmares to stay past sundown. Azriel, notify me of any new information you get regarding the queens. Cassian... try not to piss off Nesta."

Azriel looked at me with a vague look of amusement. "Rhys," he said. "This is not the first time we've looked after Velaris. You can trust us."

I sighed. Perhaps he was right. Maybe I was going a bit over the top. I walked out the door, leaving Azriel and Cassian to protect the night court while I was at a meeting with the High Lord of Winter, Kallias.

Feyre was waiting for me as I strode onto the street.

 _I assume you gave them the overbearing High Lord talk?_ Even in my mind I heard the amusement that lace the words.

 _Yes._ I replied. _I did. And I think Cass got more than five words for once._

Her laughter rang down the street.

"Ready?" I asked her. She nodded and I took her hand, winnowing us to the Winter Court.

Azriel POV

Cassian flew off to check on the Illyrian camps, Mor was dealing with the court of nightmares and Amren was doing whatever the hell Rhys asked her to do. So, with nothing to really do but have my shadows watch the city, I had a few drinks.

By the time I get up I can barely move. I regret the last four glasses of wine. I stumble out the door and snap my wings open. I gently lift into the air.

A shadow flits past my face, and from it I sense something is wrong down at the docks. I look towards the ocean before I see the ships coming towards Velaris. I stare before using the mental link Rhys has between me and the others to call for them to protect the city.

Velaris is under attack.

Cassian POV

I hear Azriel call for help through my mind and quickly wrap up the meeting with Devlon. I tap my siphons and armour forms on my body. Devlon looks confused but knows better than to question me when I put on my battle armour.

Within three minutes I'm flying to Velaris.

Mor POV

I'm in the middle of a meeting with my delightful father before I hear Azriel's call for aid. I shut Keir down before he can make another comment and tell him the meeting will continue the same time tomorrow. He looks outraged at the thought of having to see me again but accepts it.

I leave the hewn city without hurry, but winnow to Velaris as soon as I'm outside the gates, ripping off my dress and summoning my armour.

Amren POV

I hear Azriel in my head and rush toward the docks. I see soldiers running for the city, and stop them. The battle has begun.

 **Please Review. I hope you liked it. Leave reviews about anything more you want me to add. I'm open to suggestions. Also, this is my first fanfic so some help would be great.**


	2. Battle in Velaris

Chapter 2

Azriel POV

I soar through the air. Velaris is under attack! Shit! This my fault. I shouldn't have gotten drunk. If anything happens Rhys will kill me.

I fly headlong into the battle. The docks set traps in the water, and ships go down as they hit them. I land onto one of the decks, and within a second have a layout of it thanks to my shadows. Flares of my power hit soldiers, and where it hits they don't rise again.

I see red power out of the corner of my eye, and sigh in relief. Cassian made it, and by the screams of soldiers in the docks, Amren made it too. Mor winnowed next to me and nodded, winnowing away to the ships. The battle quickly tilted in our favour, but the ships kept attacking.

I knew that someone would have to kill the commander, and considering I was the only one who knew where that ship was, I flew for it. The ship had started to go down already, but I saw a soldier swimming away, and knew instantly that it was the general of this attack.

Swooping down, I hear Cassian scream to stop, Mor yelling to fly away and Amren sending messages down the link telling me to wait. I ignore all of this and dive into the ocean, grabbing the commander and soaring away with him.

The general grabs his dagger and stabs me in the side with it, then rising it to slice my wing. I snap his neck, and drop him onto one of the few remaining boats. As the light leaves his eyes, his hand holding the dagger droops onto my wing, slicing through a muscle.

I roar in pain, and fall out of the sky. I hit debris of ships, and my wings tear more on them.

I sink into the ocean, but as I try to swim out, inky black covers my vision.

Cassian POV

I see Azriel swooping down towards someone in the ocean. I scream at him to stop, and hear Mor doing the same. Azriel ignores us, and grabs the person out of the ocean.

The person wields a dagger, and stabs Azriel in the side. Only when the dagger moves towards his wing does Azriel kill the male, trying to drop his body on a fleeing ship. But as he drops the male, the dagger slices through his wing.

His roar of pain rings through my ears, and Azriel falls out of the sky and into the ocean.

I curse. This will not end well. I hear him saying in our minds through the mental link that he is perfectly fine, but as he goes under it suddenly goes black. He's unconscious.

I beat my wings and fly towards Azriel. As I arrive, I see Mor and Amren already diving in and trying to fish him out.

They burst out of the water, towing something behind them. I pick them out of the water, and see Azriel's limp body behind them.

"Cassian!" Mor screamed to get my attention. "His wings got caught on debris! They've ripped and we need to get him to a healer! Now!"

Amren quickly hands out orders. "Mor, winnow you and I to the townhouse, we can call Madja and help Azriel. Cassian, you get Azriel to the townhouse as fast as you can without hurting him."

We obeyed, and I flew. Azriel stirred as I flew him to the townhouse. His eyes opened for a second and he whispered "My fault. It's all my fault."

I had no idea what he meant, but I had no time to ponder it. I could ask him when he woke up.

But for now I hoped to the cauldron that Azriel's idiocy wouldn't cost him his life.

 **Please Review. I hope you liked it. Leave reviews about anything more you want me to add. I'm open to suggestions. Also, this is my first fanfic so some help would be great.**


	3. How long?

Mor POV

Amren and I helped Madja prepare everything she needed. The front door banging open told me that Cassian had arrived.

Even though Cassian had flown as fast as he could, it looked like Azriel had lost a lot of blood.

Madja took one look at Azriel's wings and told Cassian to put him on the bed. Cassian obliged, but one glance at the fury in his eyes had me taking him to a corner where we could talk quietly.

"What is it?" I asked bluntly, not bothering to be polite.

"You know damn well the fuck it is, Mor. The idiot didn't listen to us and dove after the General." His words were less spoken and more growled.

"Relax, Cass. I'm sure he'll be fine."

"He better be." Cassian stalked off to hold Azriel still.

I hoped for all our sakes that he was.

Cassian POV

That idiot. That cauldron damned idiot. He knew we told him to stop, yet he kept going.

Madja forced a sedative down his throat as I pinned his arms. As the drug worked and Azriel stopped struggling, I watched as the ancient healer magically bound the wing skin together.

After three long hours of work she turned to me. "He's lucky that dagger wasn't made of ash. I'm going to wake him up now. It'll take about half an hour for him to wake up but tell him that he can't fly for at least two weeks. I'll come back and check the progress in the wings, but he can't fly until I give him the all clear."

I nodded, knowing exactly what Azriel's reaction would be. He hated not being able to fly more than I did. During the war with Hybern, when he wasn't allowed to fly he destroyed half a tent before we gave him a spying task to do.

But then again, he deserved the consequences for not listening to us all.

Azriel POV

My eyes cracked open to see Cassian and Mor arguing quietly. I stretch out and make a barely audible groan.

Mor whirls to me, and pushes me back onto the bed. I realise that I'm on a healers bed in the townhouse. I look at Mor, but she leaves, looking at Cassian sharply.

Cassian looks at me and the fury on his face freezes me. I brace myself for what he's about to say.

"What the _hell_ did you think you were doing. We all told you to stop and you didn't."

I refused to turn away from his glare. When I tried to sit up, my wings and back sent a roaring pain through me. I fell back down to the bed, and a sense of dread fell onto me.

My voice was raw as I asked "What happened? How long?"

Cassian softened slightly. "When you fell out of the sky your wings tore on debris. We pulled you out but you were unconscious. I flew you back and Madja started working on you right away."

I glared at him. " _How long?_ "

He sighed. "Madja said you can't fly for at least two weeks, and that she would come back to check on you. You can't fly until she says you're alright to."

I felt hollow. The last time I hadn't been able to fly was the war with Hybern. This was bad. But I had made the decision, and now I must face the consequences.

 **Please Review. I hope you liked it. Leave reviews about anything more you want me to add. I'm open to suggestions. Also, this is my first fanfic so some help would be great.**


	4. Back Home

Rhys POV

As Feyre and I discuss with Kallias and Viviane about trading between the night court and winter court, I vaguely hear Azriel talking down the mental link. I can't hear it properly, so I ignore it.

Kallias was relaxing the more we speak. Feyre and Viviane became fast friends so whenever Feyre says something, Viviane agrees with it. We got onto the topic of having a system of straight delivery to each court when I sensed Azriel go dark down the mental link.

 _Feyre._ I said down the bond. _Azriel's mental link went dark. I think somethings wrong._

 _We can get this sorted out quickly, but we have to make it seem like nothing is wrong._

I agreed, and I said. "I think that's everything we needed to do. Is there anything else you'd like to discuss?"

Kallias showed nothing at what we said, and replied, "I think that was everything. I know you were planning on staying the night, but you can go back to Velaris." A polite but firm dismissal.

As Feyre and I left, I caught Viviane and Kallias with a look of understanding on their faces. I nodded, then Feyre and I winnowed back to Velaris.

Azriel POV

Everything hurt like hell. _Everything_. Cassian and Mor were taking turns to make sure I didn't leave the bed, and while it was nice they cared so much, it was becoming rather irritating.

Madja had said that I could leave the bed soon, but for now I was still on bed rest. I tried all of one time to leave when they were swapping over, turning into shadows, and I made it as far as the hall before my magic failed and I turned corporeal again. Cassian turned and saw me, I made a sprint for it, but he knocked me out and I woke back on the bed.

I could tell that Cassian was still pissed, and that Mor tried to make him snap out of it, but it didn't work. He actually did such a good job of being pissed I was surprised when he started talking to me.

"I forgot to ask you, when I was flying back to the townhouse you said that it was all your fault. What the hell did you mean by that?"

I did my best to keep my face cold, even as my insides coiled in on themselves. "I have no idea what you are talking about." But the truth was, I did. I knew all to well.

Cassian looked like he was about to say something else, but the front door opened.

Rhys was home.

Feyre POV

I could tell by the way Rhys was walking that he was stressed. And worried. And getting more stressed and worried by the second as he scented healers medicine.

Cassian came out to greet us, but before either male could say anything I said, "Where's Az?"

Cassian and Rhys both looked at me, then at each other. Cassian said, "There was an attack on Velaris. Azriel's wings got injured, and he got stabbed in the side. He's in the guest bedroom down the hall. He's on bed rest until tomorrow, and can't fly until Madja tells him he can."

Something on Cassian's face made me wonder what had happened during the attack. I was about to ask when a muffled voice came from down the hall. "You never said I could get out of bed _tomorrow_! You said when Madja came back here in _three days_! I'm going to kick your ass Cassian!"

I barely suppressed a smile at Azriel's indignant tone. Before Cassian could say something Azriel would make him regret, I cut in, "Why don't we go see how he is?" Rhys gave me a slightly grateful look, and we went down the hall.

 _I'm sure he's fine Rhys._ I sent down the bond. _He can't be to hurt if he can be pissed at Cassian._

 _You're right. But I'm more worried about Cassian now._ I chuckled, and entered the room.

Rhys went still at my side when he saw Azriel lying on the bed with his wings and side bandaged. Azriel sat up, hiding his pain. Cassian raised one eyebrow and made to push him back, but Azriel pushed him out of the way.

Rhys couldn't get the words out, so I asked for him. "One, is Velaris ok? Two, how did Azriel get injured? Three, Cassian, why are you guys so pissed at each other?"

I felt a glimmer of gratefulness down the bond. Rhys gestured for the Illyrians to explain.

So Cassian and Azriel told us what happened.

Azriel POV

As we told Rhys what happened, I braced myself for whatever they would say. I realised that Cassian had left out the part when I tried to leave the bed, and relaxed a bit, but I was still on edge.

Rhys didn't seem mad, but then I hadn't told anyone I had been slightly drunk. Once the others left, I felt a bit lighter in myself at the fact _they_ didn't blame me, but it didn't change the fact that I blamed myself. I should've done better, and I knew I could've.

I slumped onto the pillows, wincing as my wings hit them. It was pissing me off that my wings were bound but knowing they were healing eased it a bit. Then I remembered what Cassian had said.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I could finally get outside. I needed it, and I relaxed, ready to sleep. One thought crossed my mind before I reached sleep though. Cassian was going to pay for lying.

 _The wind brushed my hair, and I prepared my wings to fly. I was about to take off when walls were suddenly enclosed around me. I recognised them, and panicked. I was back in my childhood cell._

 _A cold laugh echoed from behind me. My blood chilled. I knew that laugh. I would never forget it as long as I lived._

" _Don't worry little Azrie. It's us. And we're here to help you through this." His voice floated on a phantom breeze over to me. I turned, and even though I was braced for it, my mouth still went dry as a beheld my half-brothers._

 _I remembered that I was no longer a child, and that I was stronger than all of my brothers combined. Just as I moved forward, I realised how tiny the space of the cell really was. I moved past the feeling of being trapped, and prepared to fight._

 _I advanced, ready for the punch. Metal clanked behind me as chains started appearing on the walls and ceiling. When I looked, my brothers grabbed the chains on the roof and clasped them around my wrists. I struggled, but suddenly they went tight and my arms were yanked above my head. I was lifted off the ground by the chains._

 _I tried to kick, but shackles were around my ankles, binding them to the wall._

" _You were right. It was your fault. And now you're going to pay for it." Oil and a torch appeared behind them. I struggled. No, no, no, no! I knew the pain, and was not ready to deal with it again._

" _Let's finish what we started so many centuries ago. But this time, it's not just your hands. It's all of you."_

 **Please Review. I hope you liked it. Leave reviews about anything more you want me to add. I'm open to suggestions. Also, this is my first fanfic so some help would be great.**


	5. Guilt

**Thanks for the reviews! I'll try to add some of those ideas. I have a few things planned for this story. Tell me any ideas you want me to add later in the story. Enjoy!**

Chapter 5

Cassian POV

Azriel was thrashing in the bed sheets. It looked like he was really panicking. I hadn't seen him like this for centuries. I tried to wake him up, but he just snarled.

His thrashing slowed down, but when his face looked at me I wondered what his dream was about. His expression was no longer ice cold, it was strained and in pain.

My heart stopped when he called something out. He called out his half-brother's name.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I grabbed his wing, and ducked as his fist flew out. When I rose I found Azriel glaring at me.

"What the hell was that for?" He growled. He tried to hide his fear behind anger, but I knew.

"What were you dreaming about?" I countered. His face went ice cold.

"None of your business."

"Why did you call out your brothers name?" There. There was the flash of panic in his face, before he regained control of his features and his face went cold again. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"How often do you dream about your brothers?" Concern edged my voice.

"One, I wasn't. Two, they aren't my brothers. They're half-brothers. Three, you didn't answer my question. Why did you grab my wing?" His annoyance grew with every word.

"I grabbed it to wake you up. You were thrashing in bed. Az… how often? What don't you tell us?" I made it clear that I needed to know.

"You have your secrets, I have mine. Now back off so I can get changed in peace."

Before I could say something else his siphons flared and I was being pushed out of the room.

And that was that.

Mor POV

A door slammed down the hall, and I saw Cassian being thrown out of Azriel's room.

He turned and glared. "If you tell anyone what just happened, I'm going to make you more sorry than you've ever been."

I feigned a look of horror, and started cackling. Cassian laughed a bit to, then his face turned serious.

"We need to have a meeting with all of the inner circle. Azriel's been acting strange. And stranger than usual strange." I nodded.

"He'll be desperate to get out of the house today, so we can have a meeting when he's gone. I'll tell Rhys and Feyre. You can talk to Amren."

His look was enough to crack me up again, and we started getting ready.

Azriel POV

After my siphons kicked Cassian out, I put my head in my hands. I didn't mean to do that, but the dream of my half-brothers unnerved me. Even now, _half an hour_ later, I can still feel the flames sliding down my body.

I stretched out, and looked out the window. The sight of the docks still being repaired hit me in the gut. I was guilty of letting the attack even _reach_ the Night Court, let alone Velaris.

Every thought I think leads back to the attack. And every word I think embeds itself into my soul, a promise that it was my fault, and that maybe one day I can learn to live with it, but for now, I'll feel guilty every moment, waking and sleeping.

It didn't scare me nearly as much as it should have.

Amren POV

Initially when Cassian came to tell me to come to the townhouse, I was pissed. Then he said something about the shadowsinger, and I was ready to leave in a minute.

I had noticed something strange about him these past few days, but Cassian said he had a dream about his brother, which made it a lot more serious. Azriel never says _anything_ about his family, and we never asked.

I turned to Cassian as we walked through the streets. "If he had a dream about his brothers, then this means it's deeper than just the attack recently. Which means-"

"He has definitely had dreams about his brothers before, and he won't tell us anything that haunts his past."

"Cassian. If he hasn't come to us in the past, what makes you think he'll talk to us now?"

He looked at me long and hard. "Nothing makes me think that he will. But I'm pretty sure with all five of us pressing him, he's bound to let something slip."

"You're going to force him." Not a question.

"No, but I have a feeling if he doesn't tell us, it'll consume him and then it'll be a bigger problem than what we expect. He was there for all of us, it's time we return the favour."

Good point. I smile cunningly to myself. Azriel would tell us, then we'd help him. And if he didn't… well, I had a feeling I wouldn't be the worst to deal with. And that's saying something.

 **Did you like the chapter? Leave ideas in the reviews for future chapters. Sorry if I don't post for a while, I'm really busy with school. Thanks for reading!**

 **-CrystalShadowStar**


	6. Meetings

**Hey guys. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm really proud of it. Enjoy the twist near the end. Also, this will be longer than usual, but the next few won't be as long.**

Azriel POV

I stood, stretching my arms. It felt good to finally be out of bed. The dream still haunted me, but I felt so much better moving around.

I did still dream about my half-brothers, more often than I would ever tell my family. If they ever suspected what still hounded me every night, they would definitely insist on helping me. This was something I want do deal with on my own.

My shadows were relieved to see me up and about, and I could tell I needed to eat. I moved out into the hall. There was no sign of where Cassian was, and I made my way to the dining room. The scent of bacon wafted it's way to me and I sighed. It smelt so good.

Nuala and Cerridwen saw me and grinned. Nuala whispered something to her sister and they both burst into giggles. I raised and eyebrow, but this seemed to make them laugh more. I rolled my eyes, and kept walking.

I heard them continue whispering and winnowed behind them.

"He looks so happy! It's hilarious!"

"I know. It's like he's been in bed for a year, not three days!"

I processed all of this, and prepared myself to interrupt.

Nuala began talking again. "And just look at him with his wings out of their bandages! He's practically jumping with joy! And he's just –"

"Listening to everything?" Nuala and Cerridwen jumped when I cut their conversation off. "I thought I taught you to _look_ before you start talking. And do I really look that happy?"

The innocence on their faces made me smile, and I chuckled. I decided to play along a bit longer.

"I suppose that since I caught you, I'll have to punish you." Cerridwen looked confused, and Nuala just cocked her head, waiting.

"You know what your punishment is?" A shake of the head. "Eat with me." They grinned as they caught onto the joke, and both grabbed my arms half guiding, half dragging me to the chair. Nuala sat on my left, and Cerridwen sat on my right.

They smiled, and I returned it. I winnowed the food to the table and we dug in.

After we stuffed our faces with food, I got up to go out into Velaris. Nuala and Cerridwen promised me when I got back lunch would be ready.

I walked out, feeling lighter than I had since the attack.

Cassian POV

As Amren and I were walking to the townhouse, Azriel passed us. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn't notice us as we walked past.

Amren saw him to, and when he was out of earshot whispered, "You were right. He hasn't told us something and it's definitely affecting him. We need to hurry this up."

We rushed the last stretch of distance between us and the townhouse, and entered.

Cerridwen greeted us, and told us to sit down. We had asked them to keep an eye on Azriel and see how he was. I gestured for her to explain, and she did.

"He came down and looked really relieved to be out of bed, but it seemed like something was haunting him. He laughed with us and made some jokes and we ate breakfast all together, but something in him was strained. He looked better when he left to go into the city, but Azriel is definitely not behaving like himself."

She got up, and moved out of the room. Feyre, Rhys and Mor entered as she left, and sat on the couches. They nodded to say they had heard, and we started talking.

"He's obviously stressed. How often has he dreamt about his half-brothers?" Rhys was concerned, and his face was tight.

"I don't know how often, this is the first time in centuries I've seen him dream about them." I replied.

"He must do it often. Why else would he ignore your question like that?" Mor cut in.

Feyre managed to get a word in "We obviously need to help him. But what can we do about what we don't know about?"

"He'll tell us. I'm sure he will." Mor said. Rhys opened his mouth and Amren cut him off by clearing her throat. We all looked to her.

"There are three things that are important here. One, how often he has these dreams. Two, if Azriel was affected by the battle in a way we don't know." She paused, and we all nodded. " _Three_ , Azriel is probably aware of this, and he hasn't told us, so what makes us think he _wants_ to tell us?" Silence at this.

"Nothing makes us think that. But if he doesn't tell us, it _will_ consume him and he'll be gone. When I came back from Under the Mountain, before I had Feyre to talk to I went mad. He has to talk to us. Not tell us everything, but tell us enough for us to help him." There was silence again, except this time I could almost taste the tension in the room.

"Fair enough, Rhys." I said. "So what's the plan?"

Rhys smirked. "Here's what we'll do."

Mor POV

After the meeting we finalised our plan to talk to Azriel. Rhys and Feyre were going to try and talk to him, and if he refused… well, the rest of us would make sure he didn't leave.

Nuala and Cerridwen informed us that he would be coming back for lunch, so we were ready for his arrival.

I looked at Cassian and he nodded. We would help Azriel, whether he liked it or not.

Azriel POV

I had spent the morning down at the docks and wandering around the markets. Everything in the city was in order, and we had protected the city from worse damage.

I headed back to the townhouse for lunch, my stomach growling at the lack of food. As I approached the scent of cinnamon made me realise that Cassian was back, and that I had indeed thrown him out of my room this morning. A opened the door without a creak, and stalked silently into the living room on my way to the dining room.

"Hey Az." Feyre's voice made me freeze in place. "Come and sit with us."

"I'll grab my lunch and bring it out first. I'll just be a minute." I said. I felt slightly suspicious when Feyre opened her mouth to object.

"Why don't you get your lunch after?" She said innocently. I was about to reply when my stomach gave a growl. She gestured for me to go and I gave her a sheepish grin.

I grabbed a small serving of rabbit stew and made my way out into the living room. Feyre and Rhys were waiting.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, sitting down.

"Well." Feyre started. "We've all noticed you've been acting strange lately. Are you all right?"

I remained emotionless. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Rhys shifted in his seat, like he was uncomfortable with what he was about to say. "You've been acting strange, having strange dreams, doing things you wouldn't normally do, and making us _all_ worried. Talk to us about it Az. We promise we can help."

Something about Rhys' words sparked something in my brain. I smiled grimly. "You used Nuala and Cerridwen to spy on me. Not bad, using my spies to spy on me."

Rhys' face hardened. "This is exactly what we're talking about. You dance around the subject, refuse to answer our questions and think we won't notice something is wrong."

Anger flared. "Why do I have to tell you _everything_ going on in my life?" I stood, placing my bowl on the couch. "We leave _you_ alone when you have things to deal with, why can't you leave me alone? I'm not talking about this, I'll see you later. Good. Bye."

I moved to walk out the door when Feyre said, "You are not going _anywhere_ Azriel." She used a tone she rarely used, the voice of the High Lady.

I looked over my shoulder, and saw them standing side by side, ready to stop me from leaving.

I didn't give them the chance. I ran outside, and just as I sprinted down the front steps, I slammed into a red tinted wall. I was furious, and turned to see Cassian and Mor approaching, both with hands out.

I dodged before they could grab me, and just as I tried to lunge out of the shield with my power, red bands formed around my wrists and ankles. They had bound me.

Cassian's entire face was apologetic, and Mor's was the same. They grabbed me under the arms, and hauled me to my feet. I thrashed, and Cassian half dragged me through the door. Feyre and Rhys were waiting. Amren sat there too, and glanced at me before turning her attention to Rhys.

Cassian set me on the couch, and the binds were removed from my wrists, but I became bound to the couch. Cassian and Mor sat on either side of me, and I glared at my friends.

Rhys sat on a chair in front of me. "Tell us Az. Don't make this any harder than it already is."

I stared at him, and felt myself go void of emotion. I shook my head, my eyes never leaving the face of someone who had always been my friend and brother.

I laughed grimly. " _Don't make it harder than it already is?_ You. Made. It. This. Hard. I am not speaking about this, so _back off._ " My voice was so cold I hardly recognised it.

Hurt flashed now Rhys' face, and surprise on everyone else's. Normally I would have felt bad, but I was devoid of all feeling. Amren nodded at Rhys, and Feyre sighed.

I felt a pounding on my mental shields. I tried to reinforce them, but then Cassian held me still while Mor forced something down my throat. My eyelids grew heavy and I felt Rhys and Feyre break into my mind. I fought to stay awake, but soon unconsciousness claimed me.

I realised as I fell into the dark that they had planned this, and that everyone would see what I had hidden from them for years.

 **A/N**

 **I hope you liked this last chapter. I worked really hard on it. There will only be a few more chapters, then I'll start another story.**

 **-CrystalShadowStar**


	7. Stew

Rhys POV

Feyre and I entered Azriel's mind after Mor sedated him. When he finally fell unconscious, all of his mind was laid bare for me to see. Everything he had ever done, anything that he had ever felt was here. I sensed Feyre moving around in his mind too, and together we searched for what we needed to.

I saw when I told them all to protect Velaris, when he first flew, when my mother died. I felt his pain and suffering in the first few years of his life, his joy when he first met Mor and his anger whenever he saw Eris.

I shifted through everything in Azriel's mind until I finally came upon the last few days. I came upon the recent attack, and saw that he had been drunk. I didn't get angry like he thought I would because I felt the unending guilt that came with this memory.

When I saw the dream he had this morning, I froze. I had never seen Azriel's childhood cell, never realised how small it was. I watched through the entire dream, and when it got to the end and his body was on fire, I understood his agony as a child.

I stayed in his head and played through the whole day, and saw Azriel's anger at himself for letting the city get attacked as he saw the damage, however small it might be. I reached his last memory, when he felt Feyre and I break into his mind.

Feyre and I retreated out, and I realised how pale she was when she looked at me. She was shaking, and I realised that I was too.

Mor glanced between us, and she looked at Cassian before asking "What is it?"

Feyre opened her mouth like she was trying to say something, but shut it when she couldn't form the words, so I answered for her. "Who knew that he's been having these dreams for over _four hundred years?_ " Shakes of their heads. "We should have seen the signs. Should have known. But he should have told us."

Cassian and Mor looked horrified, but Amren simply said. "And?"

Feyre took a breath. "It wasn't the dreams that were the worst part. The worst part was that he knew exactly what he was a doing when he didn't tell us. He didn't want us to know. He didn't want to be the cause of any problems. And when he had the first dream anything like the last one, he was going to tell you, but he decided not to when he realised how it was easier to hide it. So he did that for the next four hundred years. And the most shocking part of all of this is…"

"How guilty he felt when anything ever went wrong in the Night Court." I finished. "He blames himself for everything that has happened in the last few hundred years. Thinks that he should have sensed it and should have stopped it before it happened. None more so than the attack three days ago. He was drunk, and didn't sense the attack. What he _didn't_ realise however was that not even I would have been able to sense it. They used a spell like the one around Velaris to do it, so it seemed like part of the city."

Mor and Cassian were practically gaping, and even Amren was shocked. We all looked at Azriel slumped on the couch. I realised there was still one last thing to say.

I cleared my throat. "In his dream this morning he found that he was in his childhood cell. Every dream he's had has been along the same lines. His half-brothers torture him as punishment for what he failed to do." I shook my head. "He never told any of us because he thought we'd blame him like he blamed himself. It wasn't recent, any of this. I don't even know when it started. But we know now, and we're helping him through it."

Silence. Cassian took a breath and started speaking. "We need to move him to his bed. The sedative will wear off in an hour or so, and we all need to be there when he wakes up. Also, he's going to be really pissed when he finds out he's in the bed again." He grinned, and the tension in the room eased.

Cassian and I hoisted one of his arms around our shoulders and headed to Azriel's room. Feyre used some magic to make sure his wings didn't hit the floor or anything else, and Amren and Mor went into the kitchen to get us all something to eat.

We set him down on the bed, and flopped into chairs that I winnowed to the room.

All we could do now was wait.

Azriel POV

I awoke to the feeling of being in a bed, but I refused to open my eyes. I sensed the rest of my family sitting beside my bed, and I didn't want to face them right now. I kept pretending to sleep.

I heard small conversations and instinctively my shadows reached out to hear them. I realised it had been a trap when I heard Rhys say, "Az, we know you're awake. Quit trying to hide. We just want to talk."

I didn't respond, and Rhys sighed. "You made me do this." I heard the door open, and smelt beef and lamb stew. My mouth watered and eyes cracked open. Rhys chuckled. "Works every time. Your favourite stew, the food you'd do anything for."

I glared at him, and reached for the bowl. Mor pulled it back tauntingly, then released it when I threw a shadow at her. I shovelled it down my throat, then said between mouthfuls, "What did you see?"

Rhys knew what I meant and looked at me like I knew what he had seen. "All of it." I sighed, and went for another spoonful only to find the bowl was empty. I lifted it up.

Cassian took the bowl and filled it up again. When I reached for it he took it out of my reach. "Answer our questions and you can have more." I threw him a vulgar gesture, and motioned for them to ask.

"How long have you been having these dreams for?" Mor asked.

"A few hundred years, always the same storyline, and only after extreme stress or guilt." I said. I knew there was nothing Rhys and Feyre hadn't told them, they just wanted to see if I would still hide it.

Feyre got in the next question. "What was the reason you started feeling so guilty?" I saw the curiosity and concern in their eyes at this, and realised there were some things I had buried so deep that even Rhys couldn't find them.

"I think it was when Rhys first came back from Spring, when he was now High Lord. I wanted so desperately to help him that it consumed me." Half the truth at least. _I_ wasn't even sure.

Amren asked the next one. "Were you aware of this happening?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Why does this feel like an interrogation?" They waited, and I sighed. "Yes."

Rhys and Cassian exchanged a glance and said in unison, "Then why didn't you tell us?"

"You know why. I didn't want to burden you. Which, obviously, was useless because you seem determined to find out."

They all seemed lost in thought, and when I cleared my throat they all started. "What?" Mor asked.

"I. Want. My. Stew." I said, making sure they heard. Cassian grinned and passed it to me. Then laughed when I devoured it in a matter of seconds. "More. Unless there are more questions?" Rhys rolled his eyes and passed me the stew.

When I could barely eat another bite, I set the bowl aside. Cassian reached for some and I growled, putting his hands up. I turned to see Feyre and Mor with their eyebrows raised, and I shrugged. "I'm saving it for later. Is there a problem with that?"

They chuckled and I joined in. I realised I hadn't felt this light in ages. It had been so long since I hadn't been pressured by my guilt, and I understood what was happening.

It was happening slowly, but I was healing at long last.

 **I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please keep reading. The story isn't over yet. Also, I read the reviews and found a way to add one of the ideas in. If you have left any ideas thank you. I'll try my best to put them in this story or another one.**

 **-CrystalShadowStar**


	8. How dare he

Cassian POV

We laughed and teased for a while, and Azriel seemed to feel lighter every minute. At some point during the day we moved down to the living room and Mor got out some wine. The good wine, Rhys' oldest wine.

Rhys knew as soon as he opened the bottle and just looked at Mor. She gave him an innocent smile and we all laughed.

The more we laughed and talked, the more we drank. It got to the point where we were all so drunk we passed out on the couches. Feyre has less to drink than us so she woke us up and convinced us to move to our rooms.

From there, we slept until dawn.

Rhys POV

I woke up, and reached for Feyre. She wasn't there so I assumed she was downstairs. I realised that the bed was too cold and that she wouldn't have gotten up so early. I summoned my little energy and got up to go look for her.

I saw Nuala and Cerridwen making breakfast. They greeted me and I asked, "Have you seen Feyre?" They were instantly concerned. Shaking their heads, they apologised and continued making our meal.

I ran through the house, looking for my mate. She wasn't here. My banging woke Cassian and Azriel and they came out, bleary eyed and asking what was wrong.

"Feyre's missing." In two words Cassian and Azriel had managed to shake off the effects of the liquor and became aware. I noted shadows flying out the window and coming in. Azriel shook his head. No sign of Feyre in the city.

I became aware that Elain was missing to. She wasn't in her room, and while she hadn't been present for the meeting, she had come to sit with us yesterday afternoon. Azriel confirmed that she wasn't in the city.

Cassian realised it at the same time I did, if two of the Archeron sisters were missing then…

"I need to see if Nesta's alright!" Cassian didn't wait before he started running, then flying to the Illyrian mountains.

I buried my head in my hands, but then I remembered Azriel. I looked at him, and saw the rage flashing in his eyes. I knew what he was thinking.

"It's not you fault." He refused to look at me. " _Azriel_." He looked up. "It is not your fault."

"I know who took them." My eyes widened, and he continued. "It wasn't Hybern, or the human queens. Tamlin. It was Tamlin. He remembers what you said to him and he took them as revenge."

"The _bastard_." That was my only reply. My mate, my beautiful mate and her family were in the hands of the murderer of my family. I felt steel harden my face, and I glanced at Az. His face mirrored my own.

I nodded, and we winnowed to the mountains to meet Cassian.

Azriel POV

We entered Devlon's camp only to hear Cassian's voice screaming above all others.

"What do you mean, you _let_ them take her? You didn't even _try_ to stop them?" Silence, followed by a sickening thud.

Rhys entered the tent, and I waited outside, daring the others to comment or approach. I heard Rhys trying to talk Cassian into calming down, but a shout followed.

"The bastard let them take her. We don't even know who took her, let alone where she could be!" Cassian stopped and Rhys muttered something to him. I knew what he was saying. Cassian's response was shocked and pissed. " _What!_ He dared! I'm going to kick his ass!"

More muttering, and Cassian left the tent, looking exhausted from his flight here, but ready to destroy the entire Spring Court. I only felt guilty for letting Elain get dragged into this. She had done nothing, but Tamlin knew that hurting Elain would break Nesta and Feyre faster. What he didn't know however, was that Elain had seen enough shit to not break easily.

The thought hit me then. Mor wasn't at the townhouse, so where the hell was she. As I followed Rhys and Cassian, I voiced my concern.

A joint " _shit!"_ Was the response. I felt the feeling of guilt smash down onto me, but this time I honed it into something sharper than any dagger. Rhys has thought it would consume me again, but never again. I felt free, and for once I knew what I was going to do about it. I was simply going to let it out, but this time, my enemies had no idea what was in store for them. I was going to track them down from the sky, and slaughter them slowly.

But, I realised, I couldn't do it from the sky, my wings were still too damaged to fly. Rhys seemed to have the same thought and glanced at my wings before opening his mouth to speak. I cut him off before could say it.

"No, I am not staying in Velaris. I can fight, I'll just fight on the ground. You can't stop me from doing this, it's my revenge just as much as it is yours." I felt something in my eyes shift then, like a door had opened and was showing my rage to the entire world.

Rhys' eyes widened but he simply nodded. Cassian grinned, his expression offering violence in every way.

So the three of us entered the Spring Court, certain to bring hell to it.

Mor POV

I awoke to the house empty and asked Nuala what had happened. She told me, and I knew where I could meet the Illyrians. I winnowed, and just as I appeared I saw Cassian, Rhys and Azriel winnow in.

They looked at me at once, and I smiled grimly. Together we approached the manor. I swore to myself that if anything happened to my High Lady or her sisters, I would personally rip Tamlin into shreds, then demolish his entire court.

The last time I had been here was when I had rescued Feyre from Tamlin's protection issues, and carried her out in my arms. The rage of the memory hit me hard. When I felt the rage simmering off my friends, I knew that Tamlin didn't stand a chance.

When I glanced at Azriel what I saw on his face almost made me freeze. His rage had finally been let out of its cage, and that nothing would get in his way.

I laughed to myself. I almost felt bad for the Spring Court.

 _Almost._

Feyre POV

I awoke in a place I had never seen, yet it smelt strangely familiar. I scented spring and knew where I was.

I sat up, and felt myself suddenly jerked back by something metal. It was too dark to see, but when I tried to summon a faelight to see, I realised what it was. Faebane, most likely left over from Hybern.

I sensed movement beside me and realised my sisters were here. Nesta was already awake and even though I couldn't see it, I felt her glare. Elain simply whispered something to her, then said something to me.

"It's obvious we're in the Spring Court, but what does Tamlin want with us?" Good question, and not one I had an answer to. I was about to reply when the door cracked open, light flooding the room.

I blinked as my eyes adjusted to the brightness, and took in the chains anchoring us to the wall, the cracked stone walls, the iron door. Then I saw what stood in the middle of it all.

He looked nothing like the male I had once known. His golden hair had grown long and was unkempt, he hadn't shaven in ages, had the beginnings of a beard and his green eyes were dead and hollow. He grinned wolfishly.

In the middle of this place, the person who had taken me and my sisters from our home was Tamlin.

 **Dun Dun Dun. I hoped you liked the chapter. Thanks to the person who reviewed my story and told me to add something bad to Feyre or Mor. You gave me the idea of doing this. I think it turned out really well. The next chapter might be a while, but I will update again. As always, please review and give me ideas for future stories.**

 **-CrystalShadowStar**


	9. Rescue

Nesta POV

I had awoken in this shithole. I could only see by the blue light from under the door. Elain had awoken next to me, and embraced me as best she could with these cursed chains on. I hadn't seen her for the best part of three months, after Feyre and her mate shipped me off to the Illyrian mountains without asking me.

Cassian had dropped me there, not really staying for long. He came back every day, but I made it a point to ignore him. I can still feel the rage and pain in my heart from when he didn't even try to help me.

The first day in training my ass had been kicked. Badly. So I trained myself at night, when no one knew I was doing it. I got better, until I could beat the other females in a few blows. I was aware of Cassian watching me every single day, but he never came down to the training ring. He always watched from the air, looking like he wanted to talk to me but never did.

Every day for three months. Wake up, cook, eat, clean, train until lunch, cook, clean, chores, cook, eat, clean and we were free for the rest of the day. I hadn't yet convinced any of these winged males to bed me, and I felt like I wasn't the only one who knew Cassian watched me day and night.

It was pissing me off, all I wanted to do was live my life, but Feyre always found a way to take me from a place I found the order I craved. And now I was stuck in this cell because of her lovers quarrel with the bastard Tamlin. Fantastic.

As Feyre awoke, I shifted my chains. She blinked, and as her eyes adjusted to the dark, I glared at her. Elain whispered something to me, and I focused on the problem at hand, getting out of this shithole.

I whispered loud enough for them both to hear, "It's obvious we're in the Spring Court, but what does Tamlin want with _us_?"

Feyre was about to reply when the door creaked open, flooding the room with light. When my eyes adjusted, a growl arose in my throat.

The asshole just grinned like a wolf, and guards filed in behind him. I laughed at the irony. He always said that he wanted to _protect_ Feyre, and here he was locking her up.

His grin vanished, replaced with a look of confusion.

"Hello. How are you? I _haven't_ missed seeing you around, Asshole of the Spring Court. Now, do every one here a favour and _fuck off._ " My voice didn't waver once, and I smirked at his face.

Tamlin started to walk forwards, but a growl from Feyre stopped him. The bastard was still afraid of my sister. Good. Perhaps we could use that to our advantage. Feyre caught my eye, and we nodded, agreeing on one thing, Elain was our priority.

Tamlin just watched the exchange, and lunged. He reached for the chains binding us all together, and grasped it. He dragged us all to our feet and passed the chain to a guard, and continued on.

We were led down a hallway, and stopped at a wall of stone. There were hooks on the walls, and the guard attached the chain to them, lifting our arms above our heads. I thought I should be scared, but I wasn't, I was unfeeling. Cold as ice.

I saw Elain's face, and knew that I would go down fighting for my sister, if not myself. She knew I would too, and her face shifted from terror to something else. Tamlin surveyed us all as if we were meals at a banquet.

"Which one first? I could take the pretty one and watch as you both break, but I'd rather not risk the vipers wrath." I bared my teeth. Viper indeed. "Or, I could take the viper _then_ the pretty one. That could work." How the idiot hadn't realised a step closer and I would rip out his throat with my teeth I didn't know, but I wanted him to keep walking towards us. "But." He paused in front of us. "If I take the traitor, I can watch when Rhysand breaks. Feyre it is."

He smiled and it was not a thing of beauty. How my sister had once loved this bastard, I didn't know, but as he reached for my youngest sister, I kicked him in the cock. He gasped in pain, and as he doubled over, my foot struck his gut. A key clattered to the floor.

I looked up to see Feyre and Elain gaping at me. Tamlin was on the ground, writhing in pain. I saw the unspoken question in their eyes.

"I've been living in the Illyrian mountains for three months. I trained." Elain smiled, and stuck her foot out to grab the key. She toed it closer, and picked it up with her foot.

With our hands restrained above our heads there wasn't much we could do, but Tamlin was recovering fast. He stood up, fury lining his features.

"You _dare_ touch a High Lord! You evil little bi-"

"Yes I dare." I cut in. "And as I said earlier, do _everyone_ a favour and fuck off!"

Golden light flared at me, and I felt a dull pounding in my head. Blood trickled into my vision. Good. He'll stand no chance now, even if he did before. Cassian will rip him apart for even taking us, let alone harming one of us.

The bastard reached for Feyre again, and Elain, on the other side of me could not reach Tamlin and watched helpless. Feyre was chained to the other wall, and Tamlin drew out what looked to be ash hooks. He stuck them into one of the torches, and watched as they lit on fire, but did not burn the wood.

As he walked past he whisked them past my face, and I cringed at the heat. It wasn't burning the wood, but it would definitely burn a fae. I remembered what ash did to faeries, and knew if we didn't help Feyre now, she could die.

The key still lay on the floor, but our arms were still hooked above our heads. I would have unhook our arms before I could do anything. I stared at the key, and an idea formed in my mind.

I pressed my back against the wall, and dug my feet into the rough stone. I pushed myself up, until I could bring the chains away from the hooks. Elain understood, and did the same, with some help.

I grabbed the key, and unlocked my chains, then Elain's. Tamlin whirled, dropping the ash hooks, and leaving cuts on Feyre's side. With the unlocked chains, I whipped them around Tamlin's neck and pinned him to the wall. With his magic nullified, he was powerless.

Elain was already undoing Feyre's chains, and I caught her as she fell from the wall. Three months of training had made me stronger, and I carried her with ease. Elain walked next to me, keeping Feyre's head up.

We made it up the stairs and to the iron doors when we heard the thudding. One of the doors came crashing down, and we stopped, staring at Feyre's friends. Azriel looked relieved to see Elain, and Mor was ready to kick Tamlin's ass. She could get in line.

As Rhysand took in Feyre and the cuts on her side, he made a strangled noise as he took her from my arms. I was too focused on the winged figure behind him to notice.

Cassian.

Cassian POV

Things had not gone well since we arrived at the Spring Court. We had busted down at least twenty doors and trashed five rooms, before seeing an iron door that could only lead to the dungeons. It took us five minutes of bashing, each kick or hit more frantic than the last, thinking of how every second could spell doom for one or all of the Archeron sisters.

Just when Rhys finally lost it, the door came crashing down, and we took in what we saw. Feyre in Nesta's arms with cuts down her side, Nesta limping with a cut bleeding down her face, and Elain, mostly unscathed but looking petrified.

Rhys took Feyre from Nesta's arms, and Azriel smiled at Elain, making her smile in return. Nesta and I just stared at each other. It had been months since I had seen her face to face, and now that I had, I just stared.

Nesta pulled her eyes away from mine, and started speaking.

"Tamlin heated ash hooks in a fire and used them to tear her sides. She needs a healer. _Now."_

Rhys looked Nesta over and said with quiet venom. "Why was she hurt, and not _you_?"

Nesta didn't back down, apparently months in the Illyrian mountains had just hardened that steel edge. "He was going to take Elain, to see us both break. Or he was going to take me then Elain to see Feyre snap. But he knew he didn't have much time so he took Feyre to see you break."

Rhys looked like he was about to explode when Elain stepped in. "It's not her fault. We were chained to the wall, and Nesta kicked his you know, and then his gut. Then she insulted him, trying to give Feyre time, but he hit her in the head. And she told him to fuck off _again_. When he took Feyre I was on the other side of Nesta so I couldn't reach her. Nesta climbed the wall, and her foot got stuck on a nail, but she managed to unhook her arms and unchain us. She strangled Tamlin with the chains and chained him to the wall, leaving him helpless without his powers. Then she carried Feyre up here."

With every word the look on Rhys's face changed. Nesta's just remained unfeeling. She turned her head back to me, and I opened my mouth to speak, but shut it again when she turned away.

Azriel said from behind me, Elain stepping back to his side, "What are we going to do to him?"

Rhys looked Azriel in the eye and nodded. He gently placed Feyre down, and told Nesta and Elain to keep and eye on her. Elain did just that, but Nesta's voice stopped Rhys in his tracks.

" _No."_

"No?" I said before Rhys could. "You've been training for three months, and you think you are going to do any damage?" I realised my mistake to late, and cursed myself.

"I have a right for revenge just as much as you. _And,"_ Her voice turned cold. "You wouldn't know how good I've become since you just watch me from one hundred feet above. And yes, I _can_ do damage, because with two kicks the oh so powerful High Lord was on the floor. So fuck off, and _I_ get the first hit."

Rhys watched the exchange and grinned slowly. "Are you coming or not?"

We found Tamlin chained to the wall by his neck, just like Elain said. He growled as we came closer. Nesta, true to her word, picked up the ash hooks from the floor, and whipped it across his face. I kicked him hard enough to scar, and Mor dragged her nails down his face, savouring every second of his pain.

Azriel tormented him in a way none of us had ever seen before. His shadows wrapped around Tamlin's face, and the rest of him, while he screamed. I had seen Az torture people before, but this was a whole new level. Nesta's face went wicked with delight as she watched.

Rhys grabbed Az's arm to get him to stop, and told Tamlin to lower his shields. We all felt when Rhys entered his mind, the power shook the walls. After Rhys had everything he needed, he lifted up his sword and was about to kill Tamlin when the bastard managed to get out of his chains.

A golden light made Rhys stumble backwards, and I felt my siphons flare as if ready to hold him still while Rhys made the kill. The only problem was that Rhys was already exhausted and I couldn't get through Tamlin's shield.

I felt something stir behind me, and whipped around to see Azriel surrounded in shadows and blue light.

Azriel POV

I watched as my shadows ate Tamlin alive, and felt the satisfaction from his pain. Rhys put his hand on my arm and I stopped, this was his kill.

Rhys sorted through Tamlin's mind, then got ready to place the killing blow. Somehow Tamlin got out of his chains, and Rhys stumbled backwards under the power. My shadows started swirling around me, and my siphons flared.

I had been trying to place this feeling inside me for the past hour, ever since we learned Feyre had been taken, and I realised what it was. It wasn't guilt, or rage, or even hate. It was five centuries worth of pain that had been bottled up inside me and was now coming out.

My power reached for Tamlin, and the fool was smart enough to look afraid. His screams filled my ears as my shadows burned him alive, and my siphons killed him in flares of power.

When I was done my knees buckled and Cassian and Mor were there to stop me from falling over. I had no power left, and we walked away.

I glanced back at what was left of Tamlin.

A golden crown, and a pile of ash.

 _ **And so ends Tamlin! I've really wanted Tamlin dead for a while now, and I figured why not put it here? This isn't the end of the story, but it's almost there. Thank you to the person who left an idea in the reviews, you really helped with this. Also, any ideas for another story is something I'd really appreciate.**_

 _ **-CrystalShadowStar**_


	10. Healing

Rhys POV

Tamlin was dead. Feyre was injured. And I was falling apart.

 _What if she dies? What if she doesn't but can't move again? What if-_

I was cut from my thoughts when Feyre moaned in my arms. I flew harder, desperate to reach Velaris.

We soared over the border of the spring court, and summer grasslands sprung below us. We had reached the edge of the wards that surrounded the spring court, and winnowed.

We landed outside the townhouse, and saw Madja already waiting, with Amren standing next to her. Clearly she had gotten my message.

"What the hell _happened?_ " Amren growled. Azriel, after setting down Elain and Mor, took her aside to explain.

Cassian, after carrying Nesta back, looked towards Feyre in my arms, as if considering whether or not he was needed, and turned back to Nesta, only to find her gone. She had moved over to Elain, and they were currently talking quietly.

"Put her on the bed." Madja's voice focused me on the task at hand, saving Feyre. I did, placing her as gently as I could, before standing up again, and glancing at Madja.

She bent over, and started moving her hands around, pressing areas of Feyre's skin.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" My voice almost sounded pleading, but I needed to feel like I was helping.

Madja rolled her eyes, but gave me tasks to do. "Light the fire. If she gets cold, infection is more likely."

I did as instructed, lighting the fire, preparing the herbs, sponging her forehead.

"Take off her clothes please, Rhysand." I hesitated, and Madja knew why. I was still overprotective of my mate, and didn't like to have others see her naked. I knew it was stupid, especially now, but it was my instinct.

"We'll cover her with the sheets, but right now I need to see how bad the cuts are and her clothes are getting in the way. Also, if she stays in these clothes she'll be uncomfortable when she wakes up." Her voice was firm, and unyielding.

Satisfied, I moved forward and removed Feyre's clothes. Madja shooed me out of the room, and I poured myself a large glass of wine.

 **Azriel POV**

I found Rhys in the kitchen, downing what was likely his third glass of wine. He was worried sick about Feyre, we all were, but we all knew she had survived worse. Three months of worse, in fact.

He glanced up as the door opened, hope sparking in his eyes, but it died when he realised who it was. He dropped his head, and drank deeply.

"Am I that disappointing to see?" I said. He raised his head and stared at me, before saying dryly,

"No, but Feyre would be a bit more appreciated right now." I raised my eyebrow, and he looked flustered, realising what he said.

"I didn't mean it that way, I just-"

"Want to know that she's alright." He nodded. "We all do Rhys," I continued. "But she's survived worse, I'm sure she'll live. Right now, she is a priority, but remember that Tamlin is now dead. We have to make sure that whoever the High Lord is now, that they don't try and do anything too stupid. Like, for example, trying to get revenge for Tamlin's death."

He processed all of this, and nodded again, then reached for the glass of wine. A red tinted shield blocked his hand, and we turned to see Cassian leaning on the threshold. Rhys raised his brows.

"As much as I appreciate people getting drunk, now is not the time. And if you two have finished flirting, Mor and Amren want to see us, and Amren does not want to be kept waiting."

I rolled my eyes, and moved past him, flaring my wings as I passed, hitting him in the face. Rhys chuckled, and Cassian made a sound of indignation.

I strode into the living room. Amren sat with her arms crossed, Mor slumped next to her. Not willing to sit next to Amren's fury, I sat across from them, Cassian flopping into place next to me. Only Rhys was missing.

Rhys stumbled out of the door from the kitchen, clearly drunk. He sat on the couch next to Amren, and motioned for her to speak. She glared at him, then cleared her throat.

"Now that Tamlin is dead, we need to know who the High Lord of the Spring Court is. Tamlin had no apparent heir, and it could be a rather large problem." Cassian opened his mouth, but I stopped him. Amren still had something to say. "The other courts might find that Tamlin's death can be used us."

I caught on quickly. "And by other courts you mean Autumn." A nod.

Mor paled. "Eris won't fail his deal, if Autumn and Night go to war, he'll back us, but the other courts will take sides. And that could be disastrous."

"And with the Illyrians and Darkbringers suffering such losses in the war, they might not be willing to fight with us." Cassian finished.

We all looked to Rhys. He was still drunk, but he wasn't majorly drunk. He looked at all of us, and said. "These are all good points, and we will be ready for a war _if_ there is one. _But_ , we have to remember that all of the courts will have to acknowledge the fact that Tamlin kidnaped Feyre, Elain and Nesta, which can stop the war before it starts."

"Good point." Amren agreed. "But I have no doubt that if Feyre doesn't recover properly that there _will_ be a war."

Rhys was about to say something else, no doubt something he'd regret, but the door opened to the other room, and Madja walked through, looking very pleased with herself.

"Is she alright. Will she live?" Rhys asked the question before we could.

"She'll be fine, and she can tell you herself." Madja moved aside, to reveal Feyre wrapped in a sheet, looking ready to rain hell on the world.

 **Thank you for reading. The story is almost finished, and let me know if you want a sequel.**

 **-CrystalShadowStar**


	11. Herbs and Acts

Rhys POV

Madja moves aside, revealing my mate leaning against the wall, deathly pale and looking ready to set the world on fire. Her mouth was pursed in a thin line, her cheekbones were standing out and her eyes were ablaze.

"Feyre!" I leapt out of my chair, avoiding the wave of dizziness that followed from the effects of the wine. I stumbled to the doorway, and wrapped my arms around her neck. "Don't ever do that again."

She laughed and ran her hands through my hair. "Next time I'll tell the insane High Lord not to kidnap me then. Will that make you feel better?"

I rolled my eyes, and released her. Feyre walked into the room, trying to keep herself upright. I trailed until-

"Rhys! What the hell happened?" Feyre exclaimed. My head was pounding, and I was lying on the floor. Mor, Azriel and Cassian were all gaping at me, before bursting into laughter.

Azriel managed to get his amusement under control before saying, "Rhys got drunk while Madja was working on you."

"Of course he did. He can't take me being slightly hurt can he. Illyrian baby." I made a noise of male indignation, and tried to get up. I failed, slipping back onto the floor. There was more laughter, Amren joining in this time.

Feyre stood over me and gripped my arm.

 _Thank you darling._ I said down the bond.

 _You won't be thanking me in a second._ She replied, a grin splitting her face.

I cocked my head, confused. I thought she was going to help me up, but she gripped tighter and started dragging me towards the couch.

" _Feyre!_ " I moaned, humiliated. She hauled me onto the couch, then placed herself on my lap. I huffed a sigh. That wasn't going to be forgotten anytime soon.

Cassian and Azriel disappeared into the kitchen, and came back with a few bottles of wine. I knew better than to ask if it was the good ones. Feyre poured herself a glass, and when I reached for the bottle she slapped my hand.

"I think you've had more than enough to drink for tonight." Laughter danced in her beautiful eyes. I raised my eyebrows and reached for it again. This time, instead of just slapping my hand she whisked it away with a wind. I glared at her.

I tried to stand up, but with Feyre sitting on me, I couldn't. She just laughed, and Mor joined in. Cassian looked at my expression, and spat his wine on Azriel, who was trying his best not to chuckle. A glass appeared in Feyre's hand, and she offered it to me. It wasn't wine.

"What is this?" I asked, not wanting to drink it. A grin from Cassian told me enough, I didn't want to know.

"Just a little something we made for you." This sent Mor into giggles again. I pushed the glass away.

Feyre looked hurt. "Why won't you drink what your mate made for you?" I sighed. How bad could it be.

I raised the glass to my lips and took a long sip. My head suddenly felt heavier.

"What. Was. In. Ma. Drink?" My words were slurred. Everyone laughed.

"Just a small something." Feyre replied.

"Damn you all. You put a sleeping herb in there." My tongue felt so thick.

Feyre patted my cheek. "Don't worry. I'll see you in the morning."

I shut my eyes, and heard laughter before I went to sleep. Cassian, Mor, Amren, Feyre, even Elain and Nesta. Azriel was laughing to, but his seemed more forced, like he was preoccupied with his thoughts.

Then the inky black swept me away.

Azriel POV

I laughed for most of the night with my family, mostly at Rhys sleeping. He kept nuzzling Feyre, whimpering like a lost puppy and most of all, drooled.

Feyre had put a herb into Rhys's drink, which meant that he fell asleep with all of his senses numbed. We drank and laughed, talked and drank some more.

I replayed the memories in my head. Everyone else had passed out on the couch, and I wasn't too far off.

I thought of what had happened the past few weeks. There had been an attack on Velaris, I had injured my wings and told everyone about the nightmares that haunted me for centuries. And just in the past two days, Feyre, Elain and Nesta had been kidnaped by Tamlin, and then we had rescued them.

I had killed Tamlin, using a technique I learnt a long time ago that I used in the worst of the battles I had fought. Then tonight, joy, laughter and, of course, a prank.

But, most of my laughter was forced, most of everything tonight was acting. I couldn't just heal from centuries of guilt and pain in a week, so I was hiding it. Yes, I felt lighter and happier than I had in centuries, but I was still weighed down by my past.

I gazed around lovingly at my family, and saw that Amren was still awake. She looked at me, as if trying to see past my act, but gave up. She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Something hit me then. Cassian had lied about the day I was allowed back out of the townhouse after the battle. Revenge was going to be sweet.

I fell asleep to that thought.

 **If you thought Azriel was going to be fully healed, think again! Also, I swear Feyre will one day prank Rhys with the rest of the inner circle! Thank you for reading, and there will be only one more chapter. If you want a sequel let me know, and any ideas for what Azriel could do to Cassian would be appreciated.**

 **-CrystalShadowStar**


	12. Revenge

Azriel POV

I woke before everyone else. Cassian was still snoring on the couch next to me, so I had time to put my plan in action. I pushed myself off the couch, and stepped away. I grinned. This was going to be good.

I raced around the house, being careful not to wake the others and gathered up all the things I needed. Rope, string and a small patch of cloth.

I headed into the kitchen, where I found Nuala and Cerridwen. They looked at me, confused, and I grinned.

"Remember when Cassian said something a few weeks back and I told him I'd kick his ass? It's time for me to get my revenge." I said.

"Of course we remember." Cerridwen said.

"But should you really be doing this?" Nuala prodded. I understood in a flash.

"Want to join?" I asked

"Is that even a question?" They exclaimed. I whispered the plan to them.

"That's good." Cerridwen said.

Cassian POV

I woke up later than the others, but none of them had moved, except for Az. Rhys and Feyre were talking quietly, and from Feyre's innocent face it was about the prank we pulled last night.

Amren and Mor were lounging back, drinking wine. I stretched, and yawned widely. My head pounded, and I knew that one hell of a hangover was coming. Mor glanced at me with raised eyebrows, and I shrugged.

Rhys turned to face us, and Feyre did too. Considering Rhys's expression, I knew Feyre had refused to tell him what we had done.

Feyre had spoken to us, mind to mind, and had suggested we give Rhys something to make him fall asleep, so Azriel and I left to grab drinks for the rest of us and something else for Rhys.

Rhys looked at the empty place on the couch beside me. "Anyone know where Az went?" I shrugged.

"Haven't got a clue." I replied. As if on cue, Azriel appeared in the doorway. He walked over and set himself on the couch.

"Where have you been?" I asked. He raised his brows as he looked at me. "Not that we needed anything, just…" My voice trailed off and he laughed.

"I was making breakfast, and Cassian, Nuala and Cerridwen need your help with the bacon." He said.

Amren narrowed her eyes as she looked at him, but said nothing. I jumped up, and moved towards the kitchen.

"I'll help them, don't drink all the good wine while I'm gone." I said, with a pointed glare at Mor. She raised her glass in a salute and I rolled my eyes.

I moved into the kitchen, and saw Nuala and Cerridwen standing in front of a pan filled with the sizzling sound of bacon frying.

"What was it you needed help with?" I asked. "Azriel said something about bacon?" They turned to face me, and ushered me over.

"Could you stand here? We need to go check on something else." Nuala said.

I nodded, and the wraiths left the room. I stood in front of the pan, and flipped some bacon. Then…

Mor POV

We were having a quiet conversation, when Nuala and Cerridwen left the kitchen. Azriel looked at them, and cocked his head to the side. The twins nodded, whatever that meant. He looked back at us, a sly grin on his face.

"What did you do?" I asked, instantly curious. Azriel schooled his face in bland innocence.

"What are you talking about?" He said. Rhys and Feyre were now paying attention, and seemed just as curious as me.

Feyre opened her mouth when a male roar of rage sounded from the kitchen. We all looked to Az in question, and saw his lips clamped shut and his shoulders shaking as he tried to hold in his laughter. He failed when Cassian's voice screeched.

"What the hell is THIS?" He yelled. Azriel clutched his stomach and doubled over in laughter, before managing to calm his laughter. He looked up, and there were tears streaming down his face.

He jumped off the couch and raced into the kitchen. I stood up, Rhys and Feyre following suit. I moved towards the kitchen, but stopped in the doorway, taking in the scene before me.

There was a pan of bacon on the floor, flour everywhere, what looked to be broken pots, and… a net swinging from the ceiling. And in the net was… Cassian.

There was cloth around his eyes, blindfolding him, and there was some string wrapped around his arms, middle and wings, keeping him in a pin drop position. Azriel was leaning against the bench, laughing so hard I thought he might fall over.

I felt Feyre and Rhys step behind me, and I turned my head to look at them. They were both gobsmacked. Amren stepped in front of me, and grinned. She moved to the bench, and filled up a bucket with water. Then, she hurled it at Cassian.

His barked curse made me crack up, and I started chuckling. So did Rhys. Then Feyre.

Then, I heard the snap of a string, and Cassian's arms moved, and his wings flared. I realised he had bent his head down, and bitten through the string. His hand reached for one of the knives at his waist, and then it sliced through the net at his feet. He fell, and landed flat on his face in the middle of flour.

He growled, and, after a bit of groping around pulled himself to his feet using the bench. Cassian moved his hand to his face, and ripped off the blindfold.

He blinked, and looked down at himself. He was a sight. His hair, face and clothes were covered in flour, as well as being drenched in water. He glared at all of us, then his gaze lit on Azriel. He leapt for him, and tackled him to the ground.

Rhys watched for a moment, then moved in to pull them apart. When he couldn't, he wrapped some bonds of night around Cassian and Azriel, and pulled them apart like that. Then, he pinned them to the floor where they lay.

"Azriel, I'm sure Cassian is as eager as I am to know what the hell this was about. Cassian, you look like shit." He said calmly

"I wonder why." Came Cassian's sarcastic reply. "But, I am interested in what the hell that was for!"

"Remember when you lied to me about when I could leave the townhouse?" Azriel asked. Cassian nodded, suddenly pale. "Well, this is revenge."

"Goddamit Azriel. Of course you'd remember and get your revenge _four and a half_ weeks later." Cassian sighed. "But that was good."

"Of course it was. By the way, you weren't supposed to fall in flour, that was just an added bonus." Azriel added with a grin.

" _Bastard._ " Cassian said. I cracked a chuckle, and Cassian glared at me. They seemed to have calmed down enough so Rhys let them go.

"You deserved it." Az said.

"Fair enough. But I still have the right to be pissed." Cassian replied. Az grinned.

I rolled my eyes and cut in. "If you two have finished talking, there's some perfectly good food on the table out there that Nuala and Cerridwen have brought in." Cassian opened his gob, and I added. "There's also some wine sitting on the table that's going to be gone if you don't hurry up. Feyre and Amren are already drinking it. I'm going next."

I turned on my heel and left the room, and flopped on the couch. I looked up to see the males fighting each other to get through the door.

" _Illyrian babies._ " Feyre said with a smile. I cracked up, and drank deeply.

Azriel POV

After we had eaten our breakfast, I went for a flight above Velaris, taking the time to think to myself.

 _That went better that expected. And, it was worth it. We all had fun, and, well, I feel like I'm healing. At long last. I'm finally healing._

 _But_ , I thought to myself, _the others will never really know. I can't heal fully, the scars go too deep. I'll always be haunted by the shadows of my past. But they don't have to know that._

I soared above the City of Starlight, and breathed in the chilly air, and felt a moment of pure bliss. _This_ was what made me feel like I was healing. This true freedom, the only freedom there really is.

I flew, and smiled. This was home. With these people, and my family. Not my past. Not my shadows. Not Illyria. Here. And here I might heal.

Slowly. But, it would happen.

I was finally healing.

 **This is the end of All My Fault. I hope you liked it! Thank you for reading, and thank you for the reviews. There will probably be a sequel, but I also have another story I'm working on. Goodbye for now…**

 **-CrystalShadowStar**


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